How to stop saying um (and like) when you speak

Most people find out how often they say um by hearing a recording of themselves, and it's rarely a nice moment. You remember sounding fine. The recording has an um at the start of every other sentence. With a little practice you can stop saying um so often, and this guide shows how.

Filler words are a normal part of how people talk. In conversation they hold your turn while you look for the next word, and nobody minds. They become a problem when you're presenting, giving a speech or answering interview questions, because that's exactly when you're thinking hardest and silence feels most risky, so the ums multiply.

Why we say um

An um is your brain buying time. You know roughly what you want to say, the exact words aren't there yet, and the sound keeps the floor while you find them. It also fills a silence that feels uncomfortable to the person speaking, even when the listener wouldn't have noticed it.

That's why fillers bunch up in predictable places: at the very start of an answer, at the jump from one point to the next, and just before a word you're unsure of. Stage fright adds to it, because a nervous speaker tends to rush and fears silence more.

Step one: find your filler words

Everyone has their own set. The usual ones are um, uh, like, so, you know, basically, actually, right and I mean, and most people lean on two or three of them.

Record yourself talking for two minutes about something easy, like your job or your weekend. Play it back and keep a tally of each filler word. Then note where they happen. Are they at the start of sentences? In the middle of explaining something? When you change topic?

Stagefright does the counting for you. It lists each filler word with how many times you said it and marks every one in your transcript, so you can see exactly where they cluster.

Step two: stop saying um by pausing instead

A pause sounds like thinking, while an um sounds like searching. They do the same job for you, buying a second to find the next words, but the listener hears them very differently.

A pause feels much longer to you than it does to the room. Two seconds of silence can feel like an age from the inside and sound perfectly natural from the outside. The only way to get comfortable with that is to practise it.

Step three: fix the moments you say um most

Once you know where your fillers bunch up, you can prepare for those moments.

• If they come at the start of answers, plan your opening sentence. In a presentation that's easy: know your first line word for word. In an interview, it helps to have a few ways to begin that buy you a moment, such as "That's a good question. Let me think about it for a second." Then actually take the second, in silence.
• If they come between points, plan your links. A short phrase that moves you from one section to the next, written down in advance, means you aren't searching for words at the exact moment you're most likely to um.
• If they come before particular words, it may be that you're unsure of the word. Simplify it, or practise saying that sentence until it's automatic.

How to stop saying like

"Like" works the same way as um, except that it usually sits right before the word you're reaching for, as a kind of hedge. The same fix applies. Notice where it turns up, slow down at those points, and let the pause do the work instead. It often helps to slow your overall pace too, since fillers and speed tend to go together. There's more on that in how to speak slower when you're nervous.

Don't aim for zero

A speaker with no fillers at all can sound scripted. A few ums in a ten-minute talk are fine and nobody will notice them. What listeners do notice is a filler at the start of every sentence, or a run of them at an important moment.

So aim for fewer, and especially for none in your opening and your last line. Record yourself again a week after you start the pause drill and compare the count. Seeing the number go down is a good reason to keep going.

If you're preparing for something specific, fold the drill into your rehearsals. Our guide to practising a speech at home has a simple routine.